Since I’ve been wearing my hair in its natural state for almost a decade and a half, I’d thought I’d share some words of wisdom to others who might be starting out on their natural hair journey. (Side note: I think I’m starting to prefer “kinky” over “natural.” If you’re white and born with a straight or wavy hair texture, are you not “natural?” But I digress). It’s not an easy road, but I hope my advice makes it a little easier:
-Prepare to incur the wrath
I wish I could sugar coat it for you, but when you decide to come off the creamy crack, you will encounter negativity. Mostly from fellow black folk (white people will want to touch your hair – see “Hair Ambassador” below). I was fortunate that my mother and grandmother were very supportive, as they dabbled in natural hairstyles from time to time. My grandfather was a different story. He offered to send me money to get my hair done. When he saw a girl who had a nice perm, he would comment on how pretty her hair looked. I also went natural as a teenager, as if high school isn’t hellish enough. I’ve was called everything from Maxwell to Erykah Badu, so if you’re young and have been teased about your hair, I feel your pain. Not that I’m bitter. Nope. (She types, wiping the tears of f the keyboard…).
How to cope: remind yourself that you are strong, as it takes strength to go against the grain. Ignore the negativity. When someone tells you how great you’d look with straight hair, remind yourself that they probably are wearing a wig/wearing a weave/no longer have a hairline/don’t have enough hair to put into a ponytail/have “length” but half of it is split ends and is thin. Try not laugh. Bite your lip if you have to.
-Prepare to be a Hair Ambassador
People will ask you about your hair. Mostly it’s positive. Fellow natural/kinky heads will want to trade tips. Neophytes and those thinking about the journey will want advice. Others (read: white folk) will want to touch your hair. Some (could be any race/ethnicity) might have really stupid questions.
How to cope: Enjoy the sisterhood, and once again, ignore the ignorant. If someone tries to touch your hair and you’re not comfortable with that, say something – it’s your head. For stupid questions, have smart answers: Q: How do you wash your hair? A: Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
-Realize You Are Not Cree Summer/Rachel True
If you have Type 4 hair (if you’re unsure of your hair type, click here), you need to realize that your hair is not going to do the wash-n-go, curly corkscrew thing à la Cree Summer or Rachel True. It took me a long time to get over this. They have a different hair texture than you. The only way to get your hair to look like that, despite marketers’ claims, is through chemical intervention (read: texturizer).
How to cope: Realize there are many other beautiful ways to wear your hair. Learn what works for your hair type.
Disclaimer: I’m not against relaxers per se. I am against the view that the only acceptable way for a woman with Type 4 hair to wear their hair is straight.
Great advice! What do you guys think?
19 comments:
I love it. I have not come across any negative comments since being natural. Come to think of it I had some extension braids and my coworker, a 60 year old white lady southern as she can be, told me she did not like my hair and told me to go back to the natural cause she liked it better, I was so tickled. I do agree with realizing that you are not Cree Summers and can not get those curls if you are 4b. I definitely know I am 4a/b and wash and goes don't work unless I want the teeniest fro in the world no matter how long my hair is, my curls just twirl up all over each other like something crazy, I stick to the twist outs. I do think 4's have to learn to love their and hair and learn that everyone has a different hair texture while also learning what their own texture likes.
Nneka,
This is so on point! I have encountered all of this, especially the "let me touch your hair" phenomenon, lol. Your post is a must-read for every new natural. :-)
Misslycia
Cute article! Love the "Hair Ambassador" segment..lol.
I like it. But, sometimes these "other styles" that are possible for 4bs are not that feasible. At least for me. I've been trying to master a really big fro look (I big chopped 9 months ago) and really want to display all this hair, but no matter what it stays stuck to my head pretty much! Even when I used the blowdryer to try to blow it out, it didn't really get that much bigger :(
Awesome post. I went natural 20 years ago BEFORE it was a trend. People will ask you questions and say stupid things to you. (Mostly black people by the way). I have trouble with wash n gos as well, but twisouts look great on me! So find whatever style works for you and ROCK IT.
- savvy
i love this!! it made me laugh & want to cry.. so beautiful. no one has asked to touch my hair yet (i'm still transitioning, but i wear it curly) but i've imagined what i'd say/do when the day comes ... :)
I absolutely LOVE this post! I've only been natural for about a month now, but after 2 months, I decided to do the BC and I'm so so happy I did. I'm not sure as to what my actual hair type is, but I believe it's a cross between 4b and 4c, though it's kind of hard to tell because it's so short. But I can work with it! It surprised me as to who actually ended up being supportive and who didn't, but since my BC I find myself fascinated with other naturals that I come into contact with. I'm excited to witness my journey right and and watch the progress of my newly natural hair.
Oh...and I LOVE Leave in the Kinks. Keep up the good work girlies ;-)
i love this so much! as my hair has gotten bigger, so has its fandom, lol=o) we even have a name for it now - Frodo.=oD i definitely think the CHA (Caucasian Hair Attacker) incidents have been some of the funnier things that have happened since i went 100% kinky (1 year and 3 months!)=o)
"If you have Type 4 hair (if you’re unsure of your hair type, click here), you need to realize that your hair is not going to do the wash-n-go, curly corkscrew thing à la Cree Summer or Rachel True."
SO NOT TRUE!! MAYBE I SHOULD EMAIL YOU PICS OF MY TYPE 4 HAIR!! EVERYONES HAIR IS DIFFERENT, EVEN AMONST US 4'S!!!
YESSSSS
I just wrote my nappyku about this VERY topic.
I love this.
"If you have Type 4 hair (if you’re unsure of your hair type, click here), you need to realize that your hair is not going to do the wash-n-go, curly corkscrew thing à la Cree Summer or Rachel True."
Bahahahahhahahhah. It's a slap in the face for my reality, but yes, Nneka, you betta say that grrrl!
I really love this I'm transitioning and I need the boost from time to time.
@savvybrown...I don't think going natural is a trend for most women, it has become more popular now because black women have more knowledge of their natural hair now than we did years ago
I have 4b/c hair and wash & go's work for me. I just don't do them anymore b/c it is winter and i shower at night now.
My hair loooovess water, so wash & go's are amazing for it lol.
Products for 4A/4B hair!
For those who want Products that Really work to grow hair -- I came across this great hair and skin line, Chatto.Com, from Youtuber Crownofhisglory (watch how great her hair comes out on the youtube video)! This is an all natural product line founded by an African woman who has a salon on Chicago. She specializes in hair growth! Check out her own hair on her website and the myriad selections of all natural hair and skin products suited for all types but especially, 4A and 4Bs too. I do believe these products are the Truth!
The link is:
http://chatto.com/haircare/unilocsproducts.html
This is great and so TRUE! Especially about being an ambassador. I've been natural for four years and I've tried all sorts of products and am STILL learning. My hair is 4B and has to be styled wet or forget it. Coil-out or Afro puff only. I'm teaching myself how to cornrow. My main advice for going natural is to love yourself. Love black women. Love how God made black women because He did it fearfully and wonderfully and when He finished He said "perfect." All races of women on earth have hair that lays down their backs . . .except us. "Their's grows down, ours grows UP! So to me that sets us apart as special. Something different was on God's mind when He made us. How unique is that? I've also noticed, when a sister loves her kinks, you can tell. Her confidences actually makes her sexy. Last be not least the brothers LOVE IT!!
I love it. Particularly the advice about embracing your type 4 hair. I have noticed a disappointing trend on many natural hair blogs where women will go through painstaking lengths to make it seem like their hair is similar to Tracy Ellis Ross. I don't find anything wrong with changing your hair once in a while, but I think when your normal routine consists of 5 different products and techniques to make your hair do something that it naturally can't and the when some of the women on these blogs only seem to fawn over type 3 hair, it is just as bad as wearing your hair straight because you think that your natural texture is inferior. The best thing I learned from being natural is to just listen to my hair and not go against what it was naturally intended to do. The process has been much easier and much more low maintenance.
Aaaarrggh! That Rachael True comment was a stab to my soul! It hurts so much but it is true... I guess it's something I need to work on :(
Definitely feel you on the Cree Summer/Rachel True bit - being comfortable with one's OWN natural hair, not the natural hair promoted in the media, is a anothe step towards self acceptance, well said!
As a "Rachel True-head", there's things that the 4a/4b ladies can do with their hair that I wish I could (such as cinnabuns) but will never be able to do. There's beauty in all types of hair!
Glad you all enjoyed the post and that you've found it helpful. A lot of your comments were thought-provoking. I went natural around 14, so I can relate to a lot of the challenges. But I hope I can continue to help others make the transition.
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